Sometimes I think that maybe my husband is not “playing
with a full deck”. I am not for a moment suggesting that he is stark raving mad
or sinisterly psychotic. But he is just not with the rest of us really. Let me recount
two recent incidents. Well two and a half really and the half is telling -maybe.
Yesterday was a Saturday. You may remember how
I get up at four a.m. in the morning to do my Greek homework on a Saturday, fairly
regularly, and yesterday was no exception. By eight I was home-worked out and
getting ready to face the day. Bryan was awake. Wonder of wonders and sitting
up in bed reading Facebook status updates. Someone, probably one of my cousins,
had posted a comment about being in bed reading with a cup of coffee. Bryan made
a remark in a sighing, plaintive, pitiful breath, about how he would love to be
doing the same thing but “no-one…” imagine a heavy sigh and hang-dog expression
“…had made him coffee”. A sane person would not have said that. A sane person
would have kept very quiet. I am just
saying…
The next happening was this evening. I was SLAVING
in the kitchen making supper. Let me qualify something here for the sake of
honesty and full disclosure. I have not cooked much recently what with Frances the amazing cook visiting and
us all going out a fair bit and also my not being all that hungry in the
evenings recently so having tea and toast for supper….. Anyway back to the guilty slaving over dinner.
Bryan was “going to watch Rugby because it is SUNDAY”. He rummaged around in
the fridge looking for beer. Like you have to track the contents of a fridge…….
And found a lone beer. Astonished he asked “Where have all the beers gone??” Now,
of the two people who live in our apartment, only one of us drinks beer and it
is not me. I pointed out to him that if he does not restock the fridge there
won’t be any beers in the fridge. “But” says Bryan, “Where did all the beers go
that were in the fridge?” I could only conclude that perhaps when I open the
fridge door the beers grab the opportunity to roll out of the fridge and
somehow drag themselves to the front door were they hide (quivering with
excitement and a bit of fear) waiting for the door to be opened so that they
can make a break from the tyranny of our household and off to the freedom of - I
have no idea where. A sane person would
not ask “where have all the beers gone” now would they? Bryan also wanted to
know “where the biltong was?” There was none so he grabbed a handful of heart
shaped chocolates instead -a parting gift from Frances. I presume because somehow
in his special world chocolate and beer go together.
I love him dearly but really there are Heavenly
Angels out there with more self-preservation than he has. And I ask you
chocolate with beer????????
2 comments:
Bacon dipped in chocolate IS god, so long as the bacon is crispier than, well, umm, I don't know what, and the chocolate very dark. Try it - there's a bag of 80% in 'my' cupboard. Gives you an excuse to crack open a rasher or two...
p.s. i meant 'good' not 'god'. netbook, schmetbook.
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