Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Chinese Animal Years and why I am now a non-person.

Cheerful Chinese Zodiac

Contrary to the very happy pictures above, I am not, happy that is. Here is the story.

I opened my 2015 diary received ,most gratefully, from one of our clients. They had a very clever idea. The diary is more like a series of pages that you can date yourself and are called Plan& Memo pages. I am one of those people that for the most part likes to follow rules. Logic and order make me feel safe and comfortable. I reserve my anarchic tendencies to my thoughts were they can run riot without offence or harm. I cannot, simply cannot, write on a page in a diary that is not the date that is printed on the page. I have been known to take a deep breath and record something on the wrong page but it hurts a bit. Nowadays with Microsoft outlook and smart phones we really do not need a proper diary. Which leaves companies that give out promotional diaries at the end of a year in a bit of a quandary and all those stationery sellers miserable over their sad end of year sales. So this idea is brilliant. And I do rather like it. Except for one thing. You know how in diaries you get pages of useless information like birthstones, wedding anniversaries, Clothing sizes and astrological signs. In my "diary" they also have Chinese Animal Years. "Hummmm" thought I "I wonder what animal I am." My life is full of deep thinking about important matters. I peruse the list of years. My year is not on the list. I have reached an age where my year is not worthy of being in print. So my dear people if you were born before 1969 you are not recorded. It is a sad day for me. I have reached the age of not being worthy of consideration in a diary.
Somewhere a fairy died.
Dying fairy channelling Swan Lake.

For those of you who are vaguely interested in this sort of mumbo bloody jumbo here is a list of characteristics for your year.  

I am a Snake which means that I love good books, food, music, and plays. And I will have good luck with money. Well three out of five is not bad. Bryan is a Dragon which means that he has good health and lots of energy. He is a good friend because he listens carefully to others. HUMMMMM. Well I don't know who he has been listening to all these years but it has not been me. Despite my complaining about him often, in this blog, I do consider him to be my very good friend. So that just proves that this Chinese Animal Years thing is a crock of shite and not to be taken seriously.

On that note I am out of here. Find me a gin-shop!
My round darlings
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