Drama Drama
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I have been a bit busy for the last
couple of months. Bryan and I have been directing a play. I have also been
producing, finding props, finding costumes, finding people to do the props and
the costumes and the producing so that I would not have to do them with limited
success. Want to know why? Because I am a useless producer. EISH. And fraying
my nerves in the process. And yet.....It has been bloody brilliant! In my mind I have been
a Martyr for months. There is really nothing better for a “woe is
me” type like me. Move over Eeyore. All my favorite things all rolled into one. Stress , feeling
sorry for myself, combined with self-righteousness and feeling like I have the
moral high ground, for a few moments. Who needs calm and sanity and peace of
mind? Clearly not me. Now I don't want you to think that I have been an island
of suffering, well actually I do. But in the interests of full disclosure
(don't you just loath the truth) I did get help from all sorts of people and
places and I am most grateful.
I
have an announcement.
suffering for my art. |
I
am a control freak. I never knew that. I did know that I really, truly, deeply,
(down to the bone marrow, life blood deep) hate being controlled and react very
badly when I feel even a tiny bit manipulated. Even for the very best of
reasons , with the warmest of intentions. What I did not know was that, as a
counter point to that, I am viscerally controlling. IT IS NOT A PRETTY THING.
For someone who reacts so badly to being controlled you would think I would not
be the thing that I loathe the most. All I can say on this point is that life
is cruelly ironic. It is all too deep for me right now. I will revisit this
revelation in my mind in the months to come. I will either make peace with it,
and be a better person, or change and be a better person or completely freak
out and you can visit me in Bedlam.
And
I am sorry.
I
know that my way is not the best way all the time or even all that often, for
that matter. It is hardly relevant. I am controlling because I feel comfortable
having my way. No surprises there right? And if I royally mess things up, I
much prefer it if it is my fault rather than someone else’s. I can't hold a
grudge against myself. I should just quit while I am ahead shouldn't I? “You
are not ahead” I hear you think out loud? Oh well.
Back
in April (wow - was it that long ago?) DDG sent out a call for Directors for the
upcoming season. Fresh from having dipped my toes back in the directing pool
with DDG's "Chekhov’s Cigarettes" I was ready for another project.
HA! Ready? HA! Fat lot I knew. By May the choice of "Steel Magnolias"
was settled as being a play that would be well known and had a good cast for
women. What a clever thing I am for suggesting the play and how wise DDG is for agreeing with me. Auditions were set for
August. Hurry up and wait time. What it should have been was hurry up and get
your ducks in a row time. But let’s not go there, okay?
In
the meantime I was asked if I wanted to sit in on auditions for the DDG production
due on stage before mine, "The importance of Being Ernest", as I might find
potential cast members at the auditions. Yes, I did indeed want to sit in the
Ernest auditions. And there my problems started.
At the auditions, as you do, I landed up reading in for various roles against people auditioning and off the
back of that was asked if I would consider auditioning for Lady Bracknell. What
a silly question. In a very short space of time I was totally in love with the
idea of getting back on stage and being Lady Bracknell. I so saw myself as that
magnificent dowager. Another thing to think about. But back to the point, this
left me with a dilemma. How could I direct a show and act in one where there
would obviously be overlaps in terms of time commitments. I was like a teenager
confronted with two great parties on the same night. And what does that foolish
teen do? It goes to both. That is never a good idea, just trust me on that. I could not let
go of either idea. I wanted it all and I wanted it now. Damn, a dilemma and a pickle.
What to do? I did what I always do. I ran to Bryan. "Fix it Bryan. Fix
it." I implored. "Help me. You know you want to." You know he
did not, but what can he do? Give in or suffer an eternity of my sulking.
Bryan agreed to co-direct so that I could act and direct. YAY.
"The
Importance of Being Earnest" was postponed. I was crushed, really crushed;
it has been a long time since I have been even a little tempted to act. SIGH. I
was gutted, not least because I had used up a great many brownie points
on getting Bryan to help me out of a tight spot. And now I was stuck with him. I
would have to share.
It was just as well for Steel Magnolias. There
is no way I could have done the show without Bryan. As it was Bryans job, with
the travel he undertakes, combined with the fact that I could not get a producer
meant that I was up to my eyeballs with Steel Magnolias.
And that is the story of how I landed up co-directing a play with my husband.
Do I recommend this?
To find out, wait for my next post.........
"The Classic masks of Comedy and Tragedy or as they're now known, emoticons" |